some people might know that what i'm about to say is about them..

if they do read this of course..

everyday i try to live my life the best i can.. everyday i wake up and go to school or for squash training.. everyday, i'm just plain old Ivan Ng keeping it low key.. i've never been the popular one, or the successful one.. i've always just been.......me.... i've never broken any rules (most of the time), nor have i been on the bad side of authority..

i've faced many backstabbers in these 17 years and 2 months in this harsh world.. i've dealt with one when i was 14.. another when i was 15.. pretty much every year.. but i soon come to realise that in my small circle of friends, only FEW can be trusted.. i dare say if i close my eyes and point at any one direction, i'll most probably point at a double-crosser..

i hate these kind of people.. who doesnt? but some embrace this act of betrayal.. some people treat you nice and tell you they will help you no matter what.. now, i dont trust these people.. its these people that are the ones who will end up betraying you.. i've trusted many.. only few have proved to be trustworthy.. friends i keep close contact with are friends i know can be trusted.. i'm really sick of traitors.. its not hard to gain my trust.. i trust almost anyone.. but many take advantage of it.. bottom line is, i dont trust people these days..

moving on to things that matter.. exams are totally gone this time.. ZERO preparation.. i think i did enough for physics but chemistry and bio can be labelled as total loss.. anyway, i had to play for SAP in the state squash league today.. my opponent from D' Challengers is Steven.. i've played him many times before but the head to head is pretty much 50-50.. so i thought i should train before my match.. i did.. unfortunately, training made me tired.. when i played Steven, i did ok in the 1st set.. i took it 10-9.. but from then onwards it was downhill.. i lost the match 10-9, 1-9, 1-9, 1-9.. my back was hurting again and i couldnt move on court.. i felt so bad for letting my team down.. Nicholas had already secured a point for us, beating Simon.. Allan bet 10bucks on me so he lost the bet.. He then gave our team the lead by beating Thomas.. Thomas couldnt last long and decided to go back with what's left.. he retired.. i went back before the last 2 games were played so i wouldnt know the score.. Max played against Boon senior and Jonathan against OPK.. i'm sure they won easily..

tomorrow is add maths.. another killer.. the last day will be ICT and moral.. useless subjects on the last day.. wonderful.. Christine will be playing with Dennis and myself this saturday.. her timing couldnt be better.. the team will be leaving for Milo All Stars and obviously, i'm not one of the stars.. havent seen Christine in a while.. i'll have to boost my fitness and train harder if i am to have any chances of making the top half of the upcoming Penang Junior Open.. and drivers test is next thursday which is like A WEEK from now.. great.. "no pressure"

i'll end it here.. i dont wanna get caught using the computer.. will be watching the Champions League Final between Manchester United and Chelsea.. i will colour and and change the size of the fonts after exams.. till next time..

ivan..